Real Love In Action IS Action

I’m just sayin’…

Real love makes you pan fry fish on a weeknight at your spouse’s request.  Without grumbling.  Or rolling your eyes…at least not a lot.  After you’ve worked all day – and he has, too.  When you were excited that there was already a meal prepared during your massive amounts of weekend free time (NOT!) and waiting in the fridge.  So you were planning to kinda chill out after checking homework, facilitating bath time, reading bedtime stories, and tucking children in.  And you’re on Weight Watchers and you know that you don’t need to have fried food.  Even though you put some fish in the oven to bake it for yourself.  Because it’s healthier.  And you didn’t get to exercise today because you forgot about the lunch meeting with co-workers on your calendar during your workout time.  And you “treated” yourself to french fries then when you didn’t really need ‘em.

But you’re a southern chef (sort of) and naturally, you taste while you cook.  So at least you eat more baked fish than fried fish once it’s all cooked.  And you’re happy to serve your spouse with a smile. Because you’re grateful that God has blessed you with this particular spouse.  Even though it would’ve been a little (okay, maybe a lot) easier to make a healthier choice if your spouse had asked for baked fish.  But you love your spouse and you want them to have what they ask for.  With hot sauce, of course.  Did I mention that the baked fish was really good, but the fried fish was slammin’?

Real love in action.  Know what I’m sayin’?  Yeah, that also includes my workout tomorrow…

“And now these three remain: faith, hope and love. But the greatest of these is love.”

(I Corinthians 13:13, NIV) 

© Copyright 2010 by Kayren J. Cathcart

Embracing Maturity

This July was full of blogworthy events, but you didn’t hear from me because I’ve been honeymooning with my spouse!  While the little ones visited their grandparents in another state for an entire month, hubby and I took that opportunity to focus on each other (without reminding children to take their baths, clean their rooms, finish their veggies, or stop giggling and go to bed NOW!) and build our marriage.  Though we’ll enthusiastically celebrate our 10-year anniversary in a few months, it’s important for couples to regularly build in time for reflection, restoration, and rejuvenation.  You wouldn’t believe how routine can turn into a rut that wears you down!

On the eve of my children returning from their away-from-home adventures, I anticipate that they’ve grown a lot and learned many new things they’ll be eager to share.  I’m somewhat of a “helicopter parent,” so it took maturity on my part to let them go.  However, our job as parents is to train our children and prepare them to be functional and successful without us – that’s what a healthy growing up experience is all about.  My youngest child was homesick the first week, but I knew that exposure to a different environment would help her to be well-rounded (especially since she’ll transition from daycare to kindergarten over the next three weeks).  We don’t always get to choose our surroundings, so it’s good to learn how to adapt.   I know she has matured.  My oldest child seems to thrive when meeting new people, so I think he probably enjoyed not having me hovering over him; I’m learning to give him room to spread his wings (while still setting boundaries and parameters, of course!). 

They’re excited about seeing their redecorated room, and I look forward to seeing their beach-tanned faces and getting big hugs!  We all made it through summer vacation, and we have maturity to show for it.  We’ll give each other grace as we transition back into working as a unit – and with patience, we’ll get acclimated to the changes we’ve each undergone in one month.  We’re supposed to grow, develop, and mature – God didn’t call us to stay the same…in the spiritual realm or in the natural realm.  So don’t fight the situations that are causing you to stretch beyond your comfort zone!  God is maturing you for His purposes. 

“But grow in grace, and in the knowledge of our Lord and Saviour Jesus Christ. To him be glory both now and for ever. Amen.”

(II Peter 3:18)

© Copyright 2010 by Kayren J. Cathcart

Critter Corner

I am sheepishly posting this entry almost a month after it happened because I was a bit embarrassed!  However, I must write in the spirit of transparency, truth, and disclosure, so that’s what I’m gonna keep on bringing…read on to enjoy the antics of my life!

Much to my chagrin, I was recently given a reminder of why it takes valleys to appreciate the few and far-between “mountaintop experiences.”  By no means do I consider myself an animal lover (I’d pick a low-maintenance goldfish over a 4-footed pet any day).  Yet, my hubby’s point of a cat’s value in situations like this now has additional validity; I’m warming up to the idea.  My chef hubby kicked off our first Cathcart “Welcome to Spring” event on Saturday, 3/20/10 with an absolutely fantastic weekend grill-out with gourmet turkey burgers for me and hot dogs for the children.  Yet, my euphoria was quickly shattered on the following Tuesday when my son said, “Mom, I see a mouse” as he peered onto the back porch.

Not believing him (though I shouldn’t have doubted Mr. SuperPeepers), I glanced onto the deck through the sliding glass door, and sure enough, there was a tiny four-footed creature staring right back at me.  Then it disappeared…right back under the grill cover.  I gasped; he must’ve wanted some turkey burger, too.  Flabbergasted, I hoped one of the big, hungry robins near the bird feeders would swoop down and take care of this critter in my yard.  It didn’t happen.  Trying to maintain a somewhat composed demeanor in front of my children, I said, “Maybe it’s a baby opossum” as I laughed weakly.  But my son assured me, “No, it really is a mouse.”  Outta the mouths of babes…  I had to agree; at least it was outside.  Now what?!?  My hubby was at a meeting, and once again, I had to hold down the fort (but I was grateful I didn’t have to pull a child’s tooth).  However, I digress…

Now if this had been a spider, I could’ve easily and bravely paralyzed it with contents from a nearby can of air freshener (yes, it really works – and it smells so fresh afterwards, too!).  But this critter had me stumped.  What to do as it scurried about my deck, silently taunting me?  I did what any thinking woman would do – I called a good sistahfriend!  Granted, she lives all the way on the other side of town, but having her commiserate with me until my hubby’s meeting finished sure helped me calm down!  Fast forwarding to my hero arriving home (after I called to ensure he’d make a detour to the home-improvement store for something to destroy my tiny antagonizer):  he arrived with the electronic plug-in repellents and glue traps.  I’m not sure which one did the job, but I haven’t seen one since (let us all breathe a collective sigh of relief)!  And last night’s cookout was pleasant (and yummy – healthy grilled chicken) – but, of course, I was inside while watching my squealing children gleefully run through the sprinkler with careless abandon. 

We are growing closer to a wildlife preserve every day.  There’s gotta be a lesson in this somewhere…I am determined to learn it!!!

“Bring forth with thee every living thing that is with thee, of all flesh, both of fowl, and of cattle, and of every creeping thing that creepeth upon the earth; that they may breed abundantly in the earth, and be fruitful, and multiply upon the earth.”

(Genesis 8:17)

© Copyright 2010 by Kayren J. Cathcart

Intrinsic Value

Along with planting a vegetable (and fruit) garden, my wonderful hubby has decided to create a bird sanctuary…in our backyard.  It’s a rather noble endeavor, because our children seem to enjoy seeing wildlife up close and personal (with the exception of the opossum duly noted in my previous blog entry).  And surprisingly enough for this indoors-loving bookworm, so am I.

One birdfeeder obviously wasn’t enough, so he headed to the home improvement store to purchase 2 more seed feeders, plus a nectar feeder because he “wanted to see some hummingbirds.”  Isn’t it fantastic when we can appreciate God’s creation with childlike fascination?  “Indeed, he is a compassionate man,” I noted as he strategically placed the full feeders throughout the yard and secured them with hooks.  I would’ve casually tossed out some stale bread crusts, deemed it a community service event benefitting the environment, and called it a day. 

But he must be rubbing off on me – and leading by example – since I found myself talking to a tiny bird while waiting for the train yesterday.  I even offered it some seed if it could find its way to my house…but of course, it wouldn’t find my house, now would it?  As the bird flew away, I remembered that my signature solo wherever I sang as a teenager – many moons ago – was “His Eye is On the Sparrow.”  Then I experienced one of those epiphanic moments of understanding when everything converges all at once and in one place – and I remembered how truly special I am to God.  “He’s been thinking about me for all these years!” I gasped.  Have you considered that lately?  Take a moment to gratefully reflect on what He’s been saying to you this week…you may see what you’re really worth in a different light.

“Are not five sparrows sold for two pennies? And yet not one of them is forgotten or uncared for in the presence of God.

But even the very hairs of your head are all numbered.  Do not be struck with fear or seized with alarm; you are of greater worth than many flocks of sparrows.”

(Luke 12:6-7, Amplified Bible)

© Copyright 2010 by Kayren J. Cathcart

Playin’ Possum: High Drama in the Suburbs

It’s time for me to recount another colorful weekend, and I tell ya, this one still makes me laugh!  Please do not drink any beverages while reading this post…don’t say I didn’t warn you.

A couple of weeks ago, our backyard fence was finally completed, a welcome prelude to the warmth of spring, family BBQs, and balmy evenings for my children playing safely outdoors.  Enter one intruder to interrupt this idyllic picture of placidity, and you have a formula for me to witness a murder in my own yard on Saturday before 9:00 a.m.  Well…almost.

Saturday morning, I was up earlier than I would’ve preferred, preparing to head out to a meeting and my wonderful hubby was getting ready to make pancakes for the children.  As he bustled about to complete his routine “morning security check” of our property, he spotted something in the backyard and started dressing quickly.  “Uh oh,” I thought to myself, knowing that my hubby is fiercely protective of his family.  “Whatever it is should prepare to meet its Maker.”   He pointed out an opossum near the fence and I froze; that thing was HUGE.  Next thing I knew, he was dressed in full lumberjack gear and heading toward the fence carrying a big shovel – the heavy one used for snow removal just a few weeks ago.  Equally repulsed and captivated by what was unfolding before my eyes, I braced for the impact, and heard the “whack!”  It wasn’t pretty.  The body stopped moving, but I saw the opossum’s long tail flopping about.  Did I really want to finish eating my high-fiber cereal after this?  I bravely munched on, staring through the sliding glass door as if I was watching HDTV.  I cringed at the next whack(s) – like who’s counting? – then saw my hubby retreating from the yard.  Was he victorious?

He wondered aloud, “Now what am I gonna do with that thing?”  I was wondering the same thing, because it was pretty creepy looking.  “Couldn’t you call Animal Control?” I weakly offered.  He grabbed his phone and dialed.  Yay, teamwork.  “Is it dead?” I asked hesitantly.  “No; I saw some babies peek their heads out, so I knew it was a mother.  I don’t think I have anything sharp enough to kill it, and it hissed at me.  Those things could have rabies.”  “Oh great,” I thought.  “Now we have to wait for the government to come dispose of this creature.”  After he hung up, he reported that it had to be dead before Animal Control would come pick it up, AND (adding insult to injury) we’d have to get it to the front curb for them to pick it up – yikes!  I don’t think that was a risk he was willing to take; I knew I wasn’t!  All I could picture was trying to shovel the fat opossum into a brown paper bag and tying it up in a plastic garbage bag.  That didn’t sound too safe.  I headed to the car en route to my meeting, confident that my hubby had the situation under control and the critter would be gone when I returned.

Five minutes into my drive, my cell phone rang.  “I injured it, but I didn’t kill it,” my hubby reported.  He informed me that the opossum had crawled back through its entry point, a breach in our neighbor’s fence.  “I cancelled the Animal Control call.”  I don’t think he spared its life because it was a mother; I think he knew he was outmatched without the proper tool to remove the animal swiftly and humanely.  And Lord knows what we’d have done with motherless opossum babies scattered about.  At least he reinforced the weak part of our neighbor’s fence with more wood, because my eyes were as big as saucers, visualizing what would happen if the incapacitated party came back for restitution.  I’m almost certain that I heard the melodic strains of “Circle of Life” from The Lion King. 

Did I mention how wonderful my hubby is?  I can’t imagine how this story would’ve ended if I’d been the party responsible for handling the opossum incident.  I don’t even want to think about it.  I’ve finally summoned my SuperMommy powers so I can kill spiders by myself in one fell swoop – most of them, anyway.  I dare not consider what could’ve been in the backyard if we didn’t have that fence; I don’t think I’m ready to handle animals bigger than that.  Really.

Honestly, before this unfortunate turn of events, the only interaction I’d had with opossums was seeing them as road rugs.  I don’t recall having the privilege of a face-to-face encounter with one.  And I wasn’t at all thrilled to think one (or more) might be roaming around my backyard or wiggling under my deck.  But from this experience (combined with a bit of web research), I’ve learned that an opossum is a marsupial (that means it has a pouch – like a kangaroo) and carries its young.  Sooooo…what is the meaning in all of this?  I hadn’t thought about a spiritual message on Saturday between laughing and squirming, but as I reflect, perhaps it was just a simple reminder from nature that God is always watching, covering, protecting and guiding us.  Just as we watch out for our children, animals care for their young offspring…and God cares for us. 

“He that dwelleth in the secret place of the most High shall abide under the shadow of the Almighty.”

(Psalm 91:1)

© Copyright 2010 by Kayren J. Cathcart

Lasting Change

It’s slowly dawning on me that I really don’t want the “old way” anymore.  And it’s exciting to see myself changing, because I did the “old way” very well for so long!  This past weekend, I had my first ice cream cone of the year with my family.  And that was it – one ice cream cone after a balanced dinner at home.  No secretly sneaking to eat it alone between meals in a room behind closed doors. (If it sounds like the “old way” took a lot of scheming and energy, go with that – you’re right).  I didn’t revisit the freezer for a 2^nd or 3^rd cone (glorious change!).  I was truly content with eating in a more healthy way that would profit my body.  I didn’t even feel deprived when I gave my children some ice cream for dessert last night; I passed up my portion. 

Additionally, God made a way of escape for me when my hubby wanted to treat us to Sunday dinner out so I wouldn’t have to cook – he selected a buffet.  I didn’t say anything to him that morning (gotta appreciate your spouse’s thoughtfulness!), but I prayed that God would give me wisdom in selecting foods from the buffet that would glorify Him and not stuff my body full of junk.  And you know what?  By that afternoon, my hubby had changed his mind – without me saying a word (imagine that!).  He decided that we could eat at home, save some dough (yippee!), and I still didn’t have to cook because we’d prepared well a few days before and had plenty in the fridge.  I was so delighted to eat a chicken breast sandwich topped with bleu cheese dressing, fresh spinach, and red grapes at home!  When I remarked to my hubby, “I definitely wouldn’t have gotten something this healthy at the buffet,” he agreed and we both laughed.

I am grateful that God wouldn’t allow me to eat myself to death – literally.  Why?  Because He has a purpose and a plan for my life that I must fulfill.  So it is with you, my friend.  If you’re facing something that seems absolutely insurmountable and you haven’t gotten victory over it the past 10 times you tried to overcome it, I encourage you to try one more time.  But this time, allow God to change your heart (give Him free reign, holding nothing back for yourself) so you can change your mind, and your lifestyle will begin to change.  He is a rewarder of those who diligently seek Him.  I am a witness!

“But without faith it is impossible to please him: for he that cometh to God must believe that he is, and that he is a rewarder of them that diligently seek him.”

(Hebrews 11:6)

© Copyright 2010 by Kayren J. Cathcart

The Perks of Faithfulness

Gratefully, we arrived safely in Myrtle Beach, SC for our 9^th anniversary getaway through a mega-rainstorm (termed by The Weather Channel as the East Coast’s “Winter Wollop 2009”).  At least we were driving away from the direction where snow was forecast. Our reservation (at the hotel where we’d celebrated the previous 2 anniversaries) had been made well in advance.  My hubby had graciously done all the driving (perhaps he didn’t trust the combination of my 20/15 LASIK vision with darkness, torrents of rain, and questionable windshield wiper performance), so he was ready to get comfortable.  He quickly unpacked, then prepared for a shower.  The water ran cold for 5 minutes, and the sink and tub drains were clogged – what a welcome!  He asked me to call the front desk.  I did. 

The gentleman who answered placed me on hold.  After I’d waited patiently for over 2 minutes (sorta), my husband took the phone from me – ready to get some results.  When the hotel staffer got back on the line, my hubby relayed the situation to him.  The man noted how unfortunate it was for us that we were on the side of the building where the water often heats up slowly…I won’t even begin to express my incredulosity and more than slight irritation that he already knew they had an issue with this.  He offered to send someone up immediately to unclog the drains, but we’d still have tepid water temperature.  Calm and collected, my husband asked what he could do for us since this was our anniversary weekend and we’d received good service during our prior visits.  The hotel staffer (finally) offered to move us to another room, which my tired husband was a little more than hesitant to accept.  We were on the top floor, and no other rooms were available on that floor.  The man said, “I can put you in a Junior King Suite with a balcony two floors below” (never mind that it was cold and pouring rain outside).  I vigorously nodded my head “yes!” and my hubby reluctantly accepted the inconvenience of relocating.  After he re-dressed and re-packed, we dragged our bags back down to the front desk to get the new keys we’d been reassigned.  The man assured us we’d like the room.

When we arrived in the suite, we were pleasantly surprised at the level of upgrade we’d received; the suite was triple the size of our initial room, had more than ample walking space, plus a separate sitting area and a Jacuzzi.  Additionally, there was an internet connecting wire (conspicuously missing from the other room) and an even more spectacular ocean view from a different vantage point.  We were well-pleased and started the hot water.  I ambled over to glance at the door and discovered that our suite would normally charge at $1,000 a night for single occupancy and $1,200 a night for double occupancy.  I was amazed and share that info with my hubby; we blessed the Lord together as we reflected on the $80 per night we’d booked at online.  We opted to order something light from room service instead of braving the wind blowing rain sideways.  It was worth the $39 – an elegant serving table complete with cloth tablecloth and napkins rolled in with crab bisque, chicken strips, and French fries for both of us.  Delightful.

Upon check-in, we’d been given complimentary breakfast tickets for both days of our stay that cancelled our need to trek down the street to the local pancake dive.  At about $20 value each day, it more than nicely made up for the $5 daily parking fee in the adjacent garage.  The next evening, we went for a lovely early dinner at our favorite beach restaurant (early in the week, I’d signed up online and received a $5 coupon – cha-ching!).  We got a great server (with no attitude – priceless) and were told we’d receive a complimentary bananas foster ($7.99 value) for dessert since we were celebrating our anniversary with them.  We arrived before 5:00 p.m. and ordered from the lunch menu – our specials (catfish fillet prepared 3 ways; salad included) were executed in excellence.

What can I say about the work it took to get to a lovely weekend where we just enjoyed each other’s company and laughed a LOT?  Perseverance pays off.  We had a blast – each of us accompanied by our best friend – relaxing and taking a break from our daily routine….not to mention sinking into the pillow-top king bed, duvet covers, and down pillows.  Scrumptious.

Our children are safe, well-cared for, and having a fun time with dear family friends.  Mommy and Daddy have become “honey” and “baby” and didn’t have to fix anyone Saturday cereal at 7:00 a.m. while pleading for an 1 more hour of sleep.  Instead, this weekend, we got to reap the fruit of hard work and commitment to living daily in a godly marriage.  I’m glad we’re faithful to God and to each other.  It’s definitely worth it.  The rewards and perks of this weekend were just icing on the cake.  Bon appetit!

© Copyright 2009 by Kayren J. Cathcart

“Trust in the LORD, and do good; so shalt thou dwell in the land, and verily thou shalt be fed.

Delight thyself also in the LORD: and he shall give thee the desires of thine heart.

Commit thy way unto the LORD; trust also in him; and he shall bring it to pass.”

(Psalm 37:3-5)

Enduring and Overcoming Adversity TOGETHER

A Study from James 1

Marriage Enrichment Session Presenters:  Gibson & Kayren Cathcart 

Division is out there – don’t let it conquer your ministry of marriage!

- Adversity – hardship, difficulty, harsh conditions, hard times
- Division – separation, split, disagreement, discord, break, schism, divide, gulf

Tests & trials:
· Build faith – which brings maturity (James 1:2-4)
· Work patience (James 1:3)
· Bring an opportunity for growth (James 1:5)
· Set you up for blessing/promotion (James 1:12)
· Expose areas of inconsistency (James 1:6-8)
· Bring you closer to each other & to God (James 1:17-18)

Examples of adversity:
· Past – emotional baggage
· Present – financial strain/challenges
· Future – the unknown

Children/discipline issues, working vs. staying at home,
extended family (level of involvement/interaction), unresolved conflict, individual dreams and goals, physical changes or ailments…

Anything of great worth and value WILL be tested
· We must learn to solve problems together as a couple, not just as competent individuals
· Acknowledge strengths and weaknesses (your own and your spouse’s) – cover each other’s insecurities and vulnerabilities

- Endure – bear, undergo, continue, go on, carry on, keep on, persist
- Overcome – prevail over, rise above, triumph over, conquer, defeat
- Together – jointly, as one, collectively, in sync, mutually

Your perspective affects EVERYTHING!

 Combat the spirit of division with:
· Trust-building, open communication, flexibility, & adaptability
· Personal growth and development
· Individual and couples’ counseling
· Have fun together – get to know each other better! (we’re constantly changing)

Recognize the difference between a curse and God’s process…
- Curse – nuisance, pest, bother, irritation, annoyance
- Process – procedure, development, progression, route, course of action

6 Causes of curses:
1. Wickedness & backsliding
2. Did not hearken to the voice of the Lord
3. Would not keep the commandments and statutes
4. To be a sign and wonder to teach you and your children lessons forever
5. Because you did not serve the Lord with joyfulness & gladness of heart for the abundance of all things
6. Because you did not obey the voice of the Lord

Adversity is a tool God may use to take us to another level!

“We never know when our disappointment will be His appointment.” 

- Charles Swindoll

7 Laws of Prosperity:
1. God with man (Genesis 39:1-3)
2. Obedience (Deuteronomy 28:1-14)
3. Meditation (Joshua 1:8)
4. Faith (II Chronicles 20:20)
5. Seeking God (II Chronicles 26:5)
6. Goodness to Israel (Psalm 122:6)
7. Hospitality (Luke 6:38)

3 Reasons some do not prosper:
1. Rebellion against God (Deut. 28:29)
2. Covering sins (Prov. 28:13)
3. Fighting God (Is. 54:17)

Action Steps to Build ONENESS (this is deliberate and intentional!):
· Pray together (as well as individually for your spouse)
· Discuss/share about the Word regularly together
· Give your spouse grace – forgive!
· Speak the truth in love – don’t injure your spouse
· Seek God’s timing for communicating with your spouse

© Copyright 2007 by Kayren J. Cathcart & Gibson Cathcart